CJ

CJ had never given any thought to what he wanted to be when he grew up. Hell, he's only eight years old, and where he's from, people don't "grow up" until they're 35-- sometimes 40. When Ms. Donnerstag gave the assignment to give a report on your "plans for the future", CJ was a bit confused. He went home and thought long and hard. On Nickelodeon, there was a show where this little kid decided he wanted to do the same thing his father does for a living…

"That's it!", CJ thought- feeling a bit relieved.

CJ positioned himself right at the front door when his father came home. If there's one place a boy is sure to find inspiration it's in the man who gave him life. When Mr. Savage finally came home, CJ was surprised to see how tired he was. He mumbled a gruff "What's up" to his youngest son and headed straight for the living room. CJ noticed the way his father seemed to glide from one end of the room to the other.

"Daddy, what do you do at work?" It was almost like a ghetto episode of Leave it To Beaver- the way he asked.

The question was instantly answered by CJ's mom- who was visibly upset and ready to let the world know it.

"He ain't got no damn job!" she proclaimed. The words burst out of her mouth like they had been held there for years. "Tell your son what you do all day—filling your body with that damn poison!"

"Clorox?", CJ thought. "My daddy puts Clorox in his body?". (As a child, you equate "poison" with anything under the kitchen sink).

That night, amidst a lot of arguing and yelling from the living room, CJ sat in his room and thought.

"My daddy fills his body with poison." Although he had no idea what that meant, to an eight year old- it sounded exciting.

"Leave then!! You no good bastard," CJ heard his mother yell.

Soon after, he heard the front door slam. CJ always liked to watch from his bedroom window when his father left. It was a bit surprising that his father had any strength to leave, as tired as he seemed earlier.

CJ watched as his father walked up to one of the teenagers outside—they talked briefly. The teenager turned, whistled, and almost instantly another teenager came running. The three of them huddled and CJ could see one teenager reach in his pocket. Mr. Savage in turn reached in his pocket and gave the teenager some money.

"Wow", CJ was in awe.

He had seen this sort of thing on TV.

"My daddy is a spy." CJ felt his whole body fill with pride.

CJ couldn't sleep that night. He was so excited that he couldn't wait to tell is classmates that his Daddy was a spy, and that he too would become a spy someday! Like father like son.

"But wait. If daddy is a spy, I can't tell people. If I want to be a spy too, I really can't let nobody know." He thought.

He decided to tell them his father was a plumber.

All this thinking makes a boy thirsty, so CJ waltzed out of his room and into the kitchen for some water. He knew that no one was awake, but he kept hearing a flicking sound coming from the living room. It sounded like somebody trying to light a cigarette over and over again. He was drawn to the sound. As he got closer and closer to the living room, he could smell a smell that he had never smelled in his life. It smelled like plastic melting on top of charcoal that was drenched in his mom's nail polish remover.

CJ could now see his father kneeling alone at the coffee table. He was chopping something, then he stuffed it in a tube. Just as he was about to put the flame on it, CJ's mother came storming in the room, spotting CJ as he snooped.

"Boy get your ass in the bed!", she screamed- striking CJ in the back of the head.

CJ ran to his room and leaped in the bed. He didn't even care about the blow to the noggin he received. Never mind all the yelling coming from the living room. Never mind the fact that CJ's mom was hysterically telling his dad to "get the fuck out." CJ knew he had witnessed something that he wasn't supposed to witness. He had seen the un-seeable. He saw his father making a bomb! Screw the plumber story, the entire world had to know about this.

After listening to Victoria McDowell talk about wanting to be an astronaut for five agonizing minutes, CJ was anxiously awaiting his turn. Then finally, at 10:46 am, Ms. Donnerstag called his name. It was Clarence Savage Jr.'s turn to tell what he wanted to be when he grows up. He walked to the front of the class with the swagger of a grown ass man. After eight long years, his life finally had a purpose. He had no index cards or papers to read from. He knew exactly what he was going to say.

" I want to be a spy,- like my daddy." He said as a couple of his classmates chuckled.

"Your daddy's a spy for real?" Jordan Allen asked innocently.

"Yes he is," responded CJ proudly. "He has a bunch of teenagers working for him. Late at night, he gives them money and they give him bags of crystals". CJ was so excited, he began to stutter. "Th-th-then, he takes the crystals and burns them in order to make top secret bombs. And he makes the bombs late at night so nobody knows- not even my momma. A-a-and he's always tired because being a spy is hard, so we don't be playing and going out together and stuff, but- but…"

By this time the class was laughing harmoniously.

CJ stopped. He had a "what the hell is so funny" type of look on his face.

"Are the crystals white?" Jeff Harper asked.

"Yeah". CJ replied- (he was thinking "Duh??"..)

"And do they smell like plastic and charcoal? " the interrogation continued.

"Yeah". CJ was perplexed.

"Man, your daddy ain't no spy! He's a crackhead." Nine words shattered CJ's life.

The entire room (including Ms. Donnerstag) erupted in laughter. CJ had heard of crackheads before, but….

That night was hard for CJ. He hated Jeff for his outburst in class, but deep down he knew it was true. His father wasn't no damn spy. The poison he purposely pumped into his body was not for the betterment of society. It was "drugs', the word he'd been hearing at school and on TV ever since he was four. His father's brain was the egg in the skillet. CJ thought back on all the days Mr. Savage would come home too tired to function as a father. He thought about all the days he'd come home looking like an extra from the Thriller video- it wasn't because he was pooped from saving the world. It was because he was high as a fucking kite.

Nine years later, CJ (now known as C-Note) can still vividly remember that homework assignment. He recalls the day of that report as the day everything changed. So as he ran toward somebody's father with a pocket full of "crystals", he couldn't help chuckle at the irony. While receiving the wrinkled twenty dollar bill- CJ said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Don't let your son see you making your bombs," CJ said- almost to no one in particular.

Confused, the man took his crack and walked away…...